HATI dan JODOH

Ketika berbicara soal hati seolah-olah dialah yang menentukan arah hidup kita. HATI adalah sebuah instrumen penting dalam tubuh. Jika hati baik, maka semuanya akan baik, jika hati buruk, maka semuanya akan ikut buruk. Iya, begitulah hati. Sama halnya ketika hati diciptakan oleh Tuhan untung di pasangkan dengan hatu yang lain. Tuhan menciptakan makhluknya dengan berpasang-pasangan, iya lebih lazim nya biasa di sebut JODOH . Namun banyak sekali pasangan yang keliru dengan kata "Jodoh".  Mereka mengartikan bahwa jodoh artinya Clop, cocok, dan serasi atau apalah tanpa mereka ketahui bahwa JODOH itu adalah salah satu dari sekian banyak rahasia Allah SWT . Ya, jodoh itu ada di tangan Tuhan seperti Lagu Raffi Ahmad dan Laudya Chintya Bella "Jodoh ditangan Tuhan" tidak hanya bermodalkan keserasian, kecocokan, dan keclop-an , tapi juga butuh tali kasih.  Jatuh Cinta itu hal yang gampang namun akan menjadi sakit akhirnya bila cinta kita nyata nya tidak dimiliki kepada dia yang kita cintai. Hahah iya judulnya Mencintai dan Tak di cintai .

Kenapa saya tiba-tiba berbicara soal HATI dan JODOH ?

Itu semua tidak lepas dari apa yang saya rasakan . Jodoh itu suatu ketepatan dan ketetapan dan menjadi pilihan. Seperti yang ditanyakan nya ( Variabel "X")

"Bagaimana kalau kita tidak berjodoh ?" aku pasti menjawab begini, "Jodoh itu memang Tuhan yang atur, kita cuma memilih dan berusaha!"

Sebenarnya simple , kalo kamu memilih aku dan aku pun memilih kamu ya itu berarti kita jodoh kan ?!

Tapi sayang nya tidak semudah itu. Kita masih melupakan satu hal, BERUSAHA !!!

Itu yang selalu aku lakuakn di hubungan ku dengan nya (Variabel "X")  , BERUSAHA !

Aku selalu berusaha membuatnya bahagia, membuatnya selalu mencari kebahgiaan yang hanya dariku...

aku juga selalu berusaha menjaga hubungan kami agar kami bisa bertahan agar kami bisa mengalahkan  apa yang kami takutkan selama ini. Ketakutan kami yaitu "KITA TIDAK BERJODOH!"

Dia bahkan tak pernah tau, dalam sujud dan doa ku, namanya selalu hadir layaknya nama kedua orang tua ku yang selalu ku hadirkan dalam setiap doaku .

"untuk apa juga aku memperjuankan cinta sendirian ?"

 CINTA itu bukan melepaskan,  tetapi bagaimana kita bisa bertahan.

-RWR-

Because You Love Me

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I’ll be forever thankful baby
You’re the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You’re the one who saw me through through it all

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ’coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I’m grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don’t know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ’coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You’ve been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ’coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn’t speak
You were my eyes when I couldn’t see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach
You gave me faith ’coz you believed
I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

I’m everything I am
Because you loved me

-RWR-

Happy Birhtday My Kambing :*

Happy Birhday My Rifka Annisa . god bless you always :)

I Give My First Love To You

Plot cerita film ini menceritakan kisah Takuma dan Mayu yang telah berteman sejak mereka berusia 8 tahun. Takuma sendiri menderita penyakit jantung serius dan di vonis tidak akan hidup lebih dari usia 20 tahun. Kedekatan mereka semasa kecil membuat Mayu jatuh cinta kepada Takuma yang merupakan cinta pertamanya. Di sebuah taman Takuma berjanji kepada Mayu akan menikahinya ketika mereka dewasa.

Ketika dewasa, kisah asmara mereka semakin erat. Mayu tidak pernah lepas dari Takuma hingga ke bangku SMU. Menyadari hidupnya tidak akan panjang, Takuma berusaha memutuskan Mayu. Ini dilakukan agar Mayu tidak sedih dan terluka ketika harus kehilangan dirinya. Namun, cinta berkata lain Mayu mati-matian tetap mencintai Takuma walau ada pria lain yang mendekatinya.

Secercah harapan muncul ketika Takuma mendapatkan donor jantung. Tetapi semua itu tidak terjadi karena sang pendonor adalah teman kelas Takuma sendiri yang mengalami koma karena kecelakaan. Menyadari itu Takuma menolak menerima donor itu dikarenakan ia tidak mau hidup dengan jantung temannya sendiri.

Suatu ketika Takuma mendapatkan serangan jantung yang membuatnya koma. Dalam komanya Takuma memohon agar diberikan sedikit waktu lagi untuk menemani Mayu. Doanya terkabul, Takuma sadar dan segera mengajak Mayu untuk “berbulan madu”, mereka melewati 1 hari dengan penuh kegembiraan bersama. Hingga akhirnya Takuma mengatakan kepada Mayu bahwa waktunya telah tiba dan ia menyerahkan sepucuk surat yang merupakan surat wasiat yang ditulis sejak ia kecil.

Serangan jantung dialami Takuma dan kali ini nyawanya tidak tertolong lagi. Takuma meninggal!! Mayu yang histeris membuka surat wasiat peninggalan Takuma dimana Takuma meminta agar semua orang tetap bahagia walaupun ia telah tiada.

Film ini berakhir dengan adegan dimana Mayu membawa abu jasad Takuma dan mereka melangsungkan pernikahan di sebuah gereja. Janji sedari kecil telah mereka tepati. Mereka menjadi suami istri walau tidak akan bisa bersama.

Cerita yang menyentuh. Kekuatan cinta sejati benar-benar digambarkan dalam sosok Mayu. Bagaimana ia tetap bertahan mencintai Takuma walaupun Takuma berusaha menjauhinya ataupun ketika datang penawaran cinta dari pria lain. Segala cara dilakukan Mayu agar tetap bisa bersama Takuma hingga akhir hayatnya. Takuma juga melakukan hal yang sama atas perasaan hatinya yang tidak bisa dibohongi kalau ia mencintai Mayu hingga ia memohon agar diberikan kesempatan terakhir untuk dapat membahagiakan Mayu.

Ada yang bilang cinta pertama tidak akan terlupakan rasanya tepat dalam film ini. Cinta pertama yang tulus dan dalam terwujud dalam kisah Takuma dan Mayu. Cinta pertama yang harus berakhir dengan cinta sejati hingga maut memisahkan mereka.

Ketika mencintai seseorang, perlakukan dan sayangi ia dengan tulus apa adanya dirinya. Terima segala kekurangan dirinya, lengkapi diri satu sama lain barulah akan timbul ikatan yang kuat. Berkorbanlah demi cintamu walau mungkin kita tahu tidak selamanya kita bisa bersama. Tidak ada yang kekal dalam hidup ini semua akan menjalani jalannya tersendiri seperti jalan kisah Takuma dan Mayu. Selagi masih diberi nafas gunakanlah waktumu dengan baik untuk membahagiakannya karena ketika nafas telah terhenti semua akan tinggal kenangan. Buat kisah cinta dalam bingkai kenangan nan indah agar dapat selalu dikenang sampai kapanpun.

Cinta Sejati Tidak Akan Pernah Mati…...

-RWR-

TONIGHT

Lately Im so tired
If I took it all out on you
I never meant to
If I left you outside

If you ever felt I ignored you
No, my life is all you
So put your best dress on
And wrap yourself in the arms of someone

Who wants to give you all the love you want
Tonight Im gonna make it up to you
Tonight Im gonna make love to you
Tonight youre gonna know how much I missed you, baby

Tonight I dedicate my heart to you
Tonight Im gonna be a part of you
Tonight youre gonna know how much I miss you
And I miss you so

I dont wanna act like
I know that youd be mine forever
Though I hope its forever
Dont want you to feel like

I take you for granted
Whenever we are together
So put your best dress on
And wrap yourself in the arms of someone

Who wants to give you all the love you want
Tonight Im gonna make it up to you
Tonight Im gonna make love to you
Tonight youre gonna know how much I miss you, baby

Tonight I dedicate my heart to you
Tonight Im gonna be a part of you
Tonight youre gonna know how much I miss you
And I miss you so

Oh yeah
So put your best dress on
And wrap yourself in my arms of my love
Tonight Im gonna make it up to you

Tonight Im gonna make love to you
Tonight youre gonna know how much I miss you, baby
Tonight I dedicate my heart to you
Tonight Im gonna be a part of you

Tonight youre gonna know how much I miss you
Baby
Tonight Im gonna make it up to you
Tonight Im gonna make love to you

Tonight youre gonna know how much I miss you, baby
Tonight I dedicate my heart to you
Tonight Im gonna be a part of you
Tonight youre gonna know how much I miss you

And I miss you so

SUMPAH PEMUDA !

terimakasih tuhan ku yang super atas semua rahmat nya :) :*

JATI CINTA !

Kala cintaku tak sampai padamu
di atas keranda telah ku siapkan kain kafan
yang kemarin ku beli dengan NURANI ku

di belakang rumah ada sepetak tanah
warisan nenek moyangku
KUBUR AKU DISANA !!!

kelak akan tumbuh sebatang pohon
tanpa nama, tanpa ujung pangkal
sebut dia JATI CINTA


-created by bapak Faisyal Yunus-

MAKIN AKU CINTA

caramu mencintaiku
menjauhkan kecurangan
seperti bintang yang setia pada bulan

memegang kukuh janji
menemani aku sampai mati
terpasung hati tulusmu mendampingi diriku

reff: makin aku cinta
cermin sikapmu yang mampu meredam rasa
keangkuhanku memahami cinta

makin aku cinta
cermin sikapmu yang mampu meredam rasa
keangkuhanku mengerti dan memahami cinta

caramu memanjakanku
kau rujuki kesejukan pagi
kamu mengasuh hati tulus aku memasrahkan diri

repeat reff

jangan pernah terbersit hati
meragukan kesetiaan yang tercurah
aku dan dirimu ditakdirkan satu
langit jadi saksi

Tears Drop On My Guitar

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without

Drew talks to me, I laugh cause it's so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right,
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night



He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly,
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause



So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough for me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do
He's the time taken up, but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into..

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

TETAP TERBINGKAI

Kala bibir tak sanggup lagi menyapa.
Kala tangan tak sanggup lagi menggenggam.
Kala hati tak sanggup menyatu.
Biarlah kisah ini yang tetap menjadi saksi.

Ia, saksi yang tetap terbingkai di atas ribuan asa.
Tetap terbingkai rapi di atas jutaan harapan.
Tetap terbingkai dengan kuberi judul di atasnya-
PUPUS !!

Adakah aku di rindumu?
Adakah aku di mimpimu?
Adakah bahagia jika dirimu tak lagi disini?
Jawab aku!

Disaat kau melangkahkan kaki mu.
Beranjak dari hidupku.
Menyerah dan meninggalkan diriku.
Aku tersadar, kau bukan yang terbaik.

Kini kita berada di SPASI yang sangat berjauhan.
Dengan SPASI PANDAANGAN yang jauh pula.
Tetap kurasakan getaran itu saat kau datang.
Namun akan tetap kujadikan kisah yang selalu terbingkai.



-RWR-

Kamu di Hati Ku Selamanya

Lama sudah ku bersama menemani dirimu
Berbagi cinta dan berbagi rasa
Semakin kita melangkah semakin kita dalam
Semakin terlihat jauh berbeda

Tapi ku tak sangka secepat ini
Harus berakhir kisah cinta kita

Reff:
Ku akan selalu mencintaimu
Walau kita tak mungkin bersama
Meski berat melepasmu
Tapi kamu akan selalu di hatiku selamanya

Betapa hancur hatiku meninggalkan dirimu
Tapi itu bukanlah kehendakku
Kita memang t’lah berbeda
Tak pernah satu kata
Tak baik juga untuk diteruskan

Tapi ku tak sangka secepat ini
Harus berakhir kisah cinta kita

Ini Agamaku :)

“Apakah seseorang yang kamu cintai harus memeluk agama yang sama ?”

Iya pertanyaan ini yang kerap kali mampir di otakku saat aku melihat ada orang yang saling mencintai namun mereka memiliki keyakinan yang berbeda ....

Aku duduk terdiam di depan tempat ibadah itu. Tempat ibadah yang mungkin tidak akan pernah ku masuki seumur hidupku. Tempat ibadah yang selamanya tak akan kubiarkan kakiku menginjak dan merasakan lantai dingin yang mungkin sedikit memberi kesejukan itu. MESJID  . aku menunggunya dengan sabar, menunggu kekasihku selesai beribadah. Terlintas pemikiran nakal kala itu, “Bagaiamana mungkin aku bisa mencintai seseorang yang tempat ibadahnya tak sama denganku?”

Tiga menit kemudian, beberapa orang telah meninggalkan tempat ibadah itu. Aku menyibukkan kepalaku dengan menggerak-gerakannya, selingak-celinguk kanan kiri mencari sosoknya. Lalu beberapa detik kemudian seorang pria berlari-lari kecil ke arahku, kekasihku, Fachri 

“Sayang nunggunya lama ya ?”

Dengan nafas terengah-engah fachri menyapaku.

“Enggak kok, tenang aja. Dimuka kamu masih ada air wudhu yah ? aku punya tissue, mau dilap dulu nggak ? ungakpaku sambil memeriksa isi tasku.

“Boleh deh.” Jawabnya singkat sambil memerhatikan wajahku dengan saksama, aku terheran.

“Kenapa ngeliatin aku terus sih?” tanyaku sinis memelototi matanya.

“kamu cantik, knapa nggak pake jilbab aja ?” Gurau Fachri dengan tawa khasnya ..

“Emangnya kalau aku pakai jilbab malah tambah cantik yah ?” tanyaku balik sambil mengacak-acak rambutnya .

“For sure, Yes!”

“cantik itu dari hati kok sayang, bukan dari jilbab ” ujarku pelan sembari menarik tangannya agar melanjutkan perjalanan kita dengan berjalan kaki.

“iya sayang ... tapi ...”

“lagian juga yang harus dijilbabkan bukan Cuma fisik tapi juga hati” kataku memomotng pembicaraannya.

“kok jadi dibawa serius sih?” Fachri menahan langkahnya menarik tanganku agar memberhentikan langkahku.

“siapa yang bawa serius ? aku Cuma nggak suka aja, kalau kamu nggak bisa terima aku yang nggak pak jilbab yaudah . Kalau kamu tidak bisa menerima agamaku, maka kamu nggak bisa mencintai aku kan?” pembicaraan menjadi panas, aku berjalan meninggalkannya. Seperti biasa, dia tak pernah mengejarku, dia tak pernah menahanku untuk tetap tinggal.

Ibu menunggu di depan rumah. Wajahnya temaram kelam layaknya menunggu seseorang . aku menghampiri beliau dengan langkah terburu-buru.

“mama, kok diluar?” aku menghamppiri mama sambil mengajak beliau memasuki rumah.

“pulang sama siapa?” tanya mamaku singkat.

“saama Fachri, mah” jawabku juga dengan pernytaan yang singkat.

“kamu masih sama dia, Nak ?”

“Iya, Ma”

“Nggak inget nasehat mamah ?!”

“inget mah ..”

“yang pertama ?”

“Gelap tak mungkin bersatu dengan terang”

“yang kedua?”

Aku terdiam sejenak, menatap ibuku memegang bahuku. Dengan paksa aku melepaskan tangannya, sambil bangkit berdiri berkata “Semua agama itu sama,Ma! Hanya cara menyembehNya saja yang berbeda!!” bentakku, mamah terdiam!

Dengan kesal aku membanting pintu kamar. Aku benci dijejeri pertanyaan sampah seperti itu. Apa salahnya jika aku menjalin hubungan lebih dari seorang teman dengan seseorang yang tidak seagama denganku? Inilah Indonesia, perbedaan harus dianggap sebagai sesuatu yang tak akan pernah bisa disatukan!

Seusai ibadah aku iseng melihat ke celah-celah pintu gereja, ada seorang pria yang sepertinya tengah menunggu seseorang, ia duduk diatas sepeda motornya. Setiap beberapa detik ia selalu melihat ke arah gereja seakan-akan matanya menusuri setiap cela-cela kecil gereja itu, “Seperi Fachri” ucapku dalam hati ......

Sekitar pukul 14.00 siang, dengan langkah santai aku meninggalkan tempat ibadahku, gereja! Ternyata benar benar dugaanku, pria yang sejak tadi berdiri depan gereja adalah Fachri . aku lalu mempercepat langkahku, tapi Fachri tetap menghampiriku.

“Maria, maaf yaa kemarin”

Dengan wajah tersipu malu Fachri menghampiriku.

“aku selalu memaafkanmu, bahkan sebelum kau meminta maaf.” Aku menghentikan langkahku, menatap matanya dan tersenyum sendu saat melihat wajahnya. “Tapi, hubungan kita cukup sampai disini ”

Seakan-akan ribuan pedang menghujami Fachri, matanya berlinang air matanya benar-benar mengalir dia menatapku dengan serius .. “kamu serius ?”

“Ya!” jawabku singkat sambil mengarahkan pandanganku ke arah lain. Matanya berair, aku tak pernah suka pemandangan itu. Cowok kok sukanya nangis?

“sesingkat ini pertemeuan kita ?”

“sesingkat? Hubungan kita sudah satu tahun! Dan mau tau hal yang selalu kutahan ? Kamu selalu meperlakukan ku seperti teman mu bukan kekasihmu! Kamu tidak pernah berusaha menjaga perasaanku. Kamu tidak pernah berusaha mentolerir agamaku, maka kamu tidak akan pernah bisa menerima cintaku. Jelasku panjang lebar membiarkannya teriris . 

“ternyata dugaanku benar! kita memang tak akan pernah bisa satu ! iya aku dengan agamaku, dan kamu dengan agamamu! Aku dengan tuhanku, dan kamu dengan tuhanmu! Aku dengan hidupku dan kamu dengan hidupmu! Tapi 1 yang harus slalu kau tau, AKU AKAN SELALU MENCINTAIMU, MARIA ” kata Fachri sambil menggenggam tangan Maria erat dan serasa tak ingin melepaskannya ...

“bisakah aku memeluk mu untuk yang terakhir kalinya ?” kata fachri memohon ... 

“iya, silahkan! ” singkat Maria.

Fachri lalu memelukku, jantungku serasa tak akan bisa berdenyut lagi setelah mendengar detak jantungnya yang begitu cepat, setelah merasakan hangat dekapannya yang sama sekali takkan bisa kurasakan di pelukan lelaki lain, sekalipun dia seagama denganku!

Aku kira aku bisa kuat, aku bisa tegar, aku bisa menjalani semuanya, tapi ? air mataku berlinang di pelukannya saat itu ....

` *** 5 tahun kemudian ***

Setelah 5 tahun berpisah dengan Fachri, aku benar-benar tak pernah berhubungan dengan laki-laki lain . aku tak mendapatkan sosok nya dilaki-laki lain, tidak jarang orang tua ku mnjodohkan aku dengan laki-laki lain , yah tentunya seagama denganku, tapi ............. MEREKA memang bukan Fachri ku 

Aku tersadar dalam tidurku, aku mebayangkan diriku mengenakan mukena , aku tampak cantik, wajahku tampak bersinar.... 

Ah! Tidak! Aku terbangun dan sadar dari mimpiku, aku tidak mungkin melakukannya, ini tidak mungkin!

Tapi langkah ku mengarah pada toko jilbab dan busana muslim di dekat rumahku, aku membeli beberapa .

Aku mencoba nya, aku mencoba memakainya dirumah, di depan mamah dan papahku, merek lalu memelukku dan berkata “ikutilah apa yang menuutmu benar, Nak , kami hanya bisa mendukungmu ”

Dengan mata berkaca-kaca aku berlari memeluk mereka dan berkata “terimakasih mah, pah, aku sayang kalian ”

Sejak saat itulah aku bertekat, aku niatkan tulus dari dalam hatiku, aku akan masuk dalam agama yang betul-betul bisa menyejukkan hatiku, ISLAM  .....

Di mesjid itulah, aku sujud dan menyembah hanya pada tuhanku! Aku mengakui kekhilafanku selama ini kepadanya, aku mengakui kebodohanku selama ini tak mempercayai ajarannya, aku berlutut, menyembah, memohon ampun, sembari ku ucapkan do’a “ya ALLAH, petemukan aku dengan jodoh yang telah kau siapkan untukku, pertemukan aku dengan dia sosok laki-laki yang bisa mengayomiku, menerimaku apa adanya, dan menyayangiku lahir dan batin, serta menyayangi agamaku. AMIN ”

Saat aku selesai berdo’a, tiba-tiba ada sosok laki-laki yang tak asing suaranya memanggilku ....

“Mariaaaa ... “ teriaknya .

Aku membalikkan tubuhku dan menengok kebelakang, iyaa ternyata dia, Fachri ku, dia kembali, dia datang .

Aku menghampirinya lengkap dengan busana muslim dan sejadah yang ku pegang dan ada tasbih di jemariku sembari berkata padanya “Assalamualaikum Fachri ”

Dan Fachri dengan canngugnya berkata “Subhanallah, Waalaikumsalam Maria .... ”

*Cerita ini saya kutip dari blog Dwitasari tapi nama saya ganti dan ceritanya sedikit saya tambah :)*

GOODBYE !

It’s a shame that it had to be this way
It’s not enough to say I’m sorry
It’s not enough to say I’m sorry
Maybe I’m to blame
Or maybe were the same
But either way I can’t breathe
Either way I can’t breathe

All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way

I’m alive but I’m losing all my drive
Cause everything we’ve been through
And everything about you
Seemed to be a lie
A guiltless twisted lie
It made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by
All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way
All I had to say is goodbye
Were better off this way
Were better off this way
And every, everything isn’t only
What it seemed so hold these
Words that you never told me
Its time to say goodbye
Its time to say goodbye
Its time to say goodbye
Goodbye
Bye
Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong
Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong
Take my hand away
Spell it out
Tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Kita (mungkin) pisah .....

dia, iya dia calon suamiku , yang sering mengisi kegalauan ku di blog ini ....
kita kini MUNGKIN PISAH ....

aku kira kita bisa eelamanya , ternyata , ternyata aku blum bisa menafsirkan nya ...
aku belum bisa memastikannya , aku belum bisa mengatakan iya atau pun tidak ...

masih kah aku menyayangimu ?
aku rasa itu pertanyaan anak kecil yang sepertinya tidak perlu berkali-kali aku ucapkan di blog ini !!

hari-hari ku begitu sepi tanpa mu kini , aku masih belum terbiasa tidur tanpa mendengar suara mu walau cuma lewat telfon
aku masih blum terbiasa "tidak" mendengar hape ku berdering karena telfon dari mu .....

Aku berharap bisa menjadi seseorang yang selalupertama kali kau lihat saat kau membuka mata
tapi ternyata ? ╥_╥
oh maaf , aku menangis di blog ini lagi ...

hampir 24 jam dalam sehari aku merindukanmu, walau kau tak pernah merindukanku selama itu
jangan pergi dari otakku. mungkin, aku lupa cara berpikir jika tak ada kamu diotakku ,
Aku sangat merindukanmu... Maaf, maksudku... aku selalu merindukanmu ......

sadar kah kau, kau alasanku untuk dewasa dan aku tak ingin kau terluka. Segenap jiwa akan kujaga keindahmu, tapi kata PISAH itu telah terucap !
aku tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa lagi , ketika aku mengatakan aku masih menyayangimu !
apakah kau peduli ?
kau bukan hanya tak peduli lagi , tapi kau bahkan mengacuhkan ku :'(

aku berharap bisa membunuh dan memaksa waktu, untuk mengulang pertemuan awal  kita dan takkan pernah ada perpisahan!!

demi tuhan, aku mencintaimu  .

Variabel "X"

Variabel "X" itu , sosok laki-laki yang "INSYA ALLAH" jadipemimpin di keluarga ku kelak nanti ....
aku tak berharap lebih padanya , aku tau bukan hanya diriku yang memiliki nya , sederet wanita lain pun memiliki dirinya dengan status yang jelas...
Sama sekali tak menciutkan hatiku untuk tetap menjaga dan memiliki hatinya sepenuh hati ku

Iya, sayang itu masih ada ....
Sayang itu masih tumbuh di dalam sini , di dalam lubuk hati ini yang paling dalam ....
Rasanya tak perlu ku ungkapkan sejak kapan rasa itu mulai muncul , redup , hilang, hingga akhirnya hadir kembali
Aku menyayangi nya setulus hatiku, lebih dari yang dia tau ....
Sekeras apapun dia menyakitiku , semakin kuat rasa ini terhadapnya ..

"Suatu saat nanti, saat raga ini tak bernyawa lagi dan tak sanggup memeluk mu lagi, saat bibir ini tak bisa berkata "Aku menyayngimu" saat otak ini tak sanggup lagi memikirkan semua tentang dirimu, biarkan lah kisah ini tetap menjadi bingkisan yang akan kubawa kelak ketika aku tak lagi bersamamu......"

Aku teringat !
Di saat semua nya berkata kepadaku "Lupkanlah, dia masih begitu dan begitu saja" saat itulah hati ini bertambah yakin akan kesungguhan ku untuk memilikimu (lagi)
Sulit memang, bahkan untuk menjadi Nomor 1 di hatimu lagi pun terasa sangat susah. Maaf, aku melupakan, Tuhan dan Keluargamu, maksudku Nomor 3

Kau tau apa yang menguatkan ku bertahan tetap mencintaimu ?
Tau bahwa kau (masih) meyayangiku sudah menjadi hal terindah dalam hidup ku yang takkan pernah ku lupakan ....

masih ingat mawar merah ini ?

Iya, ini mawar yang waktu itu
Tempat dan waktunya tidak mesti aku ungkapkan disini, smoga saja kau  masih ingat

Kau selalu ada di saat aku betul-betul membutuhkan sosok yang bisa menemaniku, bisa menyayangiku, bisa menguatkan ku . . .
Ini tidak berlebihan, tapi ini kenyataan (bagi saya)
#pfftmomentnya adalah kamu laki-laki ke-2 yang aku sayangi setelah ayah ku

Laki-laki lain ?
Nama sepertimu mungkin banyak, tapi tidak ada yang sama sepertimu, tidak ada yang mengertiku seperti kau mengertiku, tidak ada yang menyayangiku seperti kau menyayangiku . . .

Aku mencintaimu, Variabel "X"

KUTEMUKAN PENGGANTINYA !

sebuah kisah tertulis indah dimasa lalu
tak teraba oleh hati siapapun
hingga kau datang dengan segala kelemahanmu
cacat hidupmu menyempurnakanku

kesakitanku bertambah pahit
ketika harus ku akui
aku menahan rasa cinta untukmu
namun kau tetap ada

kau hadir dalam bayang yang tak pernah ku anggap
kau ada didalam bayang semu
kau merindu dan membuatku jatuh kepadamu
kau menyayangku dan buatku berkata
ku temukan penggantinya

kesakitanku bertambah pahit
ketika harus ku akui
kau hadir dalam bayang yang tak pernah ku anggap
kau ada didalam bayang semu
kau merindu dan membuatku jatuh kepadamu
kau menyayangku dan buat ku berkata

kau hadir dalam bayang yang tak pernah ku anggap
kau ada didalam bayang semu
kau merindu dan membuatku jatuh kepadamu
kau menyayangku dan buat ku berkata
ku temukan penggantinya, kutemukan penggantinya
ku temukan penggantinya ooo uuu ku temukan ooo uuu

My Valentine

If there were no words,
no way to speak,
I would still hear you
If there were no tears,
no way to feel inside
I’d still feel for you


And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart, until the end of time
You’re all I need,
my love, my valentine


All of my life,
I have been waiting for,
all you give to me
You’ve opened my eyes,
and showed me how to love unselfishly


I’ve dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams I couldn’t love you more
I will give you my heart  until the end of time
You’re all I need,
my love, my valentine


La da da
Da da da da

And even if the sun refuse to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart, until the end of time
’cause all I need,
is you, my valentine
You’re all I need,
my love, my valentine

Video Clip Of White Horse and Love Story *Taylor Swift*

Video Klip of You Belong With Me

White Horse

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known

[Chorus]
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't wanna be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

[Chorus]
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm sooo sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now

You Belong With Me

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, shes upset
Shes going off about something that you said
Cause she doesn't get your humor like I do
I'm in my room, it's a typical Tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me, you belong with me

Walking the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isnt this easy

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in a while since she brought you down
You say youre fine, I know you better then that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
Shes cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find
That what youre looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you not know baby
You belong with me, you belong with me

Oh, I remember you drivin to my house in the middle of the night
In the one who makes you laugh, when you know youre bout to cry
And I know your favorite songs and you tell me bout your dreams
Think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me

Can you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along, so why can't you see
You belong with me
Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time How could you not know
Baby you belong with me, you belong with me
You belong with me
Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me
You belong with me

Last Kiss

I still remember the look on your face
Lit through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered
For just us to know
You told me you loved me
So why did you go
Away
Away?

I do recall now
The smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement
I ran off the plane
That July 9th
The beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt
I can still feel your arms

And I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

I do remember
The swing in your step
The life of the party, you're showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then
You pull me in
I'm not much for dancing
But for you I did

Because I love your handshake
Meetin' my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you kissed me when I was in the middle of saying something
There's not a day when I don't miss those rude interruptions

But I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

So I watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are

And I hope the sun shines
And it's a beautiful day
And something reminds you
You wish you had stayed
You can plan for a change in the weather and time
But I never planned on you changing your mind

So
I'll go sit on the floor
Wearing your clothes
All that I know is
I don't know how to be something you miss

Never thought we'd have a last kiss
Never imagined we'd end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips

Just like our last kiss
Forever the name on my lips
Forever the name on my lips
Just like our last

Today Was A Fairy Tale

Today was a fairytale
You were the prince
I used to be a damsel in distress
You took me by the hand and you picked me up at six
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
I wore a dress
You wore a dark grey t-shirt
You told me I was pretty when I looked like a mess
Today was a fairytale
Time slows down whenever you're around

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

Today was a fairytale
You've got a smile that takes me to another planet
Every move you make everything you say is right
Today was a fairytale
Today was a fairytale
All that I can say is it's getting so much clearer
Nothing made sense until the time I saw your face
Today was a fairytale

Time slows down whenever you're around
Yeah yeah

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale


Time slows down whenever you're around
I can feel my heart
It's beating in my chest
Did you feel it?
I can't put this down

But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
But can you feel this magic in the air?
It must have been the way you kissed me
Fell in love when I saw you standing there
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale
It must have been the way
Today was a fairytale

A Perfectly Good Heart

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?aa
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart,now?
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?
Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

Maybe I should’ve seen the signs, should’ve read the writing on the wall.
And realized by the distance in your eyes that I would be the one to fall.
No matter what you say, I still can’t believe
That you would walk away.
It don’t make sense to me, but:

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart, now?
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?
Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

It’s not unbroken anymore.
How do I get it back the way it was before?

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart,now?
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?
Why would you wanna break, would you wanna break a:

Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?
Why would you wanna take our love and tear it all apart, now?
Why would you wanna make the very first scar?
Why would you wanna break a perfectly good heart?

PSB :)

ini tadi pagi pas lagi PSB (Penerimaan Siswa Baru) di depna kantor .
kita lagi foto-foto gitu .......
paling depan yang make almamater itu temen gue namanya Andi Ahmad Irfa , keren yah dia di situ , manis bangett .. :D ..
trus di samping nya itu temen gue namanya Andi Amrullah Armansyah biasa gue panggil Ullah aja ... dia cowok paling baik, tp sekarang udah rada berubah gitu, mungkin pengaruh lingkungan, padahal sayang banget loh kalo dia ga pertahanin keimanannya . whelehh kok jadi ngerambat kesitu . ahahah :D
oke trus d sebelahnya ada si dodot ...
samping nya lagi ada Uchu nama lengkapnya Muhammad Qursihul Khusnah . loh dia lagi liat apaan tuh ?? hahah -,-itu ULIL ! cowok METROSEKSUAL di skolah gue , liat aja , putihkan dia .. cewek di skolahan gue aja kalah putih sama dia ,..... -,-

oke lanjut di kanan atas ada diikaa si BELIEBER , sampingnya ada Innah yang jago banget soal NGITUNG !
di samping innah ?????

waaaoooo maniis bangett ,, siapa yah dia ??
hoallaahh gue ,,,,
jiah *gubrak*cewek biasa yang punya segudang MIMPI yang belom bisa di wujudin satu-satu . itulah gue !

di samping gue ada MIFTAHUL JANNAH !!

eitz hampir kelupaan , disampingnya miftah ada nining adek gue yang paliinnnnnggggggg imutttttttttttttttttttt ...................
udah perkenalan yah ga semua temen gue juga yang gue kenalin , ini cuma sebagian doang :D
sisanya nyusull yaaaakk :)

The Man Who Can't Be Moved

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do
How can I move on when I've been in love with you

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving

Policeman says son you can't stay here
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl, oh whoa
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world

Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
'Cause you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet
Oh, you see me waiting for you on a corner of the street

So I'm not moving
('Cause if one day you wake up, find that you're missing me)
I'm not moving
(And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be)
I'm not moving
(Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet)
I'm not moving
(Oh, you see me waiting for you on a corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna moveGoing back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do
How can I move on when I've been in love with you

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving

Policeman says son you can't stay here
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl, oh whoa
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world

Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
'Cause you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet
Oh, you see me waiting for you on a corner of the street

So I'm not moving
('Cause if one day you wake up, find that you're missing me)
I'm not moving
(And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be)
I'm not moving
(Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet)
I'm not moving
(Oh, you see me waiting for you on a corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna moveGoing back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard, got your picture in my hand
Saying if you see this girl can you tell her where I am

Some try to hand me money, they don't understand
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense, but what else can I do
How can I move on when I've been in love with you

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you'd see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving

Policeman says son you can't stay here
I said there's someone I'm waiting for if it's a day, a month, a year
Gotta stand my ground even if it rains or snows
If she changes her mind this is the first place she will go

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet
And you see me waiting for you on the corner of the street

So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy
Who's waiting on a girl, oh whoa
There are no holes in his shoes
But a big hole in his world

Maybe I'll get famous as the man who can't be moved
And maybe you won't mean to but you'll see me on the news
And you'll come running to the corner
'Cause you'll know it's just for you

I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who can't be moved

'Cause if one day you wake up and find that you're missing me
And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be
Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we meet
Oh, you see me waiting for you on a corner of the street

So I'm not moving
('Cause if one day you wake up, find that you're missing me)
I'm not moving
(And your heart starts to wonder where on this earth I could be)
I'm not moving
(Thinking maybe you'll come back here to the place that we'd meet)
I'm not moving
(Oh, you see me waiting for you on a corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag, I'm not gonna move

CLOSE

Across the miles
It’s funny to me
How far you are but now
Near you seem to be
I could talk all night
Just to hear you breathe
I could spend my life
Just living this dream
You’re all I’ll ever need

You give me strength                    
You give me hope
You give me someone to love someone to hold
When I’m in your arms
I need you to know
I’ve never been
I’ve never been this close

With all the lovers
I used to know
I kept my distance I never let go
But I your arms i know I’m safe
‘Cause I’ve never been held
And I’ve never been kissed in this way
You’re all I’ll ever need
You’re all I’ll ever need

You give me strength
You give me hope
You give me somone to love someone to hold
When i’m in your arms
I need you to know
I’ve never been
I’ve never been this close

Close enough to see it’s true
Close enought to trust in you
Closer now than any words can say

And when, when I’m in your arms,
I need you to know I’ve never been
I’ve never been this close

You give me strength
You give me hope
You give me someone to love someone to hold

My lovely family :)

this is my simple family in my school :)
I love them :)
Alfiah Iriani Fajrin as my daughter and Andi Raima Syamsuddin as my mother ........:)


we hate the woman who likes to insult us. we also hate the hypocritical women and likes to win their own .
hahahahahah that's you Mrs.M adn Mrs.V !!!